Expert Blogger | Published News | Blog Promotion

Yo mama was so stupid

Humorist — Wed, 16 May 2012 02:35:41 GMT

Yo mama was so stupid she died of starvation in the grocery store. Thanks to Michael Related Posts:Yo Mama’s So StupidWhere’s the Soup?60 Minutes

Couple Accused Of Slim Jim, Pop-Tarts Pilfering In Vero Beach

Clumsy — Wed, 16 May 2012 01:35:43 GMT

Jourdan Keever thought it a "loving gesture" when her husband rubbed her back in the Vero Beach truck stop.

Good and Ideal Man

FunnyJokes — Wed, 16 May 2012 01:35:43 GMT

While creating men, God Promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world. then He made the earth round.

Johnny Has A Sweet Tooth

Joker — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 22:20:36 GMT

One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street; and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop. As he approached, he realized it was his neighbor's kid - Little Johnny.

The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice: "You know, Johnny, it's not healthy to eat all that candy."

Little Johnny looks up at him and quickly retorts "You know, my grampa lived to be 96 years old."

"Oh," the man replied, "did he eat lots of candy?"

"Nope," retorted Little Johnny, "he minded his own damn business!"

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

Stick It Out Johnny One day the teacher walked to the back of the...

Little Johnny Wants Some Ice Cream Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge...

Little Johnny: Contagious In A Sentence At school one day, Little Johnny's teacher asks the class...

Low Bridge

FunnyJokes — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 21:20:41 GMT

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”

Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he could not avoid getting stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a “Truck Wedgie.”

Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”

The gutsy truck driver said, “No officer, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”

Today's Joke

Funny — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 21:20:40 GMT

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a

rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Chickens in a library

Humorist — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 21:20:40 GMT

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ [...]

Inexperienced Man

FunnyJokes — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:22:03 GMT

A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69."What do you mean?" he asked.Not knowing quite how to explain, she said, "You put your head between my legs and I'll put my head between your legs."Still unsure but willing, he agreed. As soon as he got his head between her legs, she let out a rip-roaring fart."What the hell was that

Four Men In Naked Car Wash Romp As Girlfriends Filmed Them

Clumsy — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:22:01 GMT

Four young men who were caught cooling off naked inside a central Queensland car wash have been warned their prank could have had much more serious consequences.

His First Time

Humorist — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:22:03 GMT

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me 5 shots of Jack!”
The bartender asks “Are you having a bad day?”
The guy replies, “Nope, I’m celebrating my first blowjob!”
The bartender congradulates him and says, “Well in that case, let me give you a beer on the house.”
The guy replies, “No thanks, if [...]

WHACK

FunnyJokes — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:22:02 GMT

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- he knocks him off the bar stool and says,"That was a karate chop from Korea."The little guy thinks "GEEZ" but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says,"That was a

Collectible Badges

Clumsy — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:22:08 GMT

Many styles to pick from... concealed weapons permit, special agent, bail enforcement, chief deputy, law abiding citizen... and many more! Wallets and badge holders too!

The Australian Ventriloquist

Humorist — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:22:09 GMT

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into the village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: “G’day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?”
Villager: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.”
Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it going mate?”
Dog: “Doin’ all right.”
Villager: [...]

Represent Numeric Without Using Number

FunnyJokes — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:22:01 GMT

A boss was determined not to hire an Irishman, so he decided to set a test for Murphy, hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'So Murphy say's, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What the hell's that?"Murphy says,

Accused E. Bay Car Thief Steals Car To Go To Court

Clumsy — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:22:05 GMT

A 24-year old Oakland man is under arrest after authorities say he stole a car to make a court appearance on an auto theft charge.

Classic Bar One Liners

Humorist — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:22:03 GMT

Jesus Christ walks into a bar. He hands the bartender three nails, and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry [...]

Wisconsin Man Attempts Drive-By Shooting, Forgets To Roll Down Car Window

Clumsy — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:22:04 GMT

Drive-by shooting epic fail: Forgetting to roll down your car window before you start shooting from the driver's seat. Whoops.

TGIF

Humorist — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:22:04 GMT

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F.”
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”
The blond was trying to be friendly, [...]

A Trip on an Airplane

FunnyJokes — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:22:01 GMT

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."

Buttock-Rubbing Drink-Driver Tries To Dance With Cop

Clumsy — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:22:11 GMT

A woman has found out the hard way that, if you've been pulled over for drink-driving, trying to dance with the police officer and rubbing your buttocks on his leg won't actually stop him arresting you.