It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time.A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then Read More »
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Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest tells her that she cannot enter without it.A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a Read More »
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A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, "Sure, we can put you up."The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three Read More »
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Police say a man wearing only Speedos tried to steal vehicles but a police dog tracked him down and bit him. Read More »
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"The job notice posted at the Memphis State University placement office advertised for someone to set up a bookkeeping system for a local dinner theater that was filing for bankruptcy. When an eager first-year accounting student inquired, the interviewer told him that the company needed an advanced student capable of handling Chapter 11 proceedings. ""I'm sure I could do it,"" the student Read More »
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A robbery suspect wearing only a Speedo-style swimsuit was arrested in East A robbery suspect wearing only a Speedo-style swimsuit was arrested in East Hartford after a police dog tracked him down and bit him on the leg. Read More »
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STONE BLIND LOVESometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been."Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open Read More »
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Three accountants were in the urinal performing their morning constitutional. The first accountant finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. Very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two other accountants, he says "At KPMG, we are trained to be extremely thorough". The second Read More »
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In the Queen song, I'm In Love With My Car, drummer Roger Taylor took over singing duties from Freddie Mercury to wail about how much he was, uh, in love with his car. Read More »
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When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured Read More »
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